Jones likes to sing. He can sing all of John Denver's "leaving on a jet plane"...he only sang a little for this, but you can get the idea of how cute it is.

Books and Boogers

We have a bed-time routine with Jones. Every night this routine starts with getting on pjs, brushing and flossing his teeth and then reading 3-4 books. Generally we read things like "where the wilds things are" or "Murmel Murmel Murmel." Tonight Jones picked out his own books and this is what he brought me and had me read excerpts out of...

"The Autobiography of George Muller"

"Secrets of The Vine" By: Bruce Wilkinson

"Around the World in Eighty Days" By: Jules Verne

"The One Year Bible" NLT Version.

And "Guess How Much I Love You" by: Sam McBratney (this one is actually a children's book.)

It was the funniest thing ever. He just sat there and listened while I read him diary entries of George Muller or pieces of Revelation. He was so serious about it all that I could hardly read it to him without laughing.

...Continuing on with his routine...After reading we then walk to him bed and tuck him in by turning on his music and night light. We then pray, say his bible verse and sing 2-3 songs together. During the last song something happened tonight which I will never forget. I am singing to him and he is picking his nose (like any 2 year old would), he pulls out a big nasty booger and instead of eating it reaches up and sticks it in my mouth!! I kid you not!

MY SON PICKED HIS OWN BOOGER AND STUCK IT IN MY MOUTH WHILE I WAS SINGING TO HIM!! Gross.

Moving on because I have nothing else to say about that.

Bad news is that poor little Indi has Pneumonia and an ear-infection and had to spend half the night int he emergency room last night (good news is that Arwen came and slept at my house so Ryan could go with me! Yeah for Arwen!). She wasn't bad enough to have to stay, but the poor little dear had to have the whole works while there. She was rushed to the Critical Care room and then hooked up to an oxygen machine, EKG machine, some breathing machine thing, she had an IV and had to have a chest X-ray. She is feeling a little better today and is on antibiotics that will hopefully clear everything up real quickly because they caught everything very early on.

Good news is when we got our Christmas tree is was snowing the biggest most beautiful flakes you have ever seen! Check out these pics...it was a beautiful winter wonderland!

China Town

This is my son at "school". Actually this is my son "I at chool. Chool in China Town. My chool is down in China Town."

Perfect.



Speaking of perfect....Some new pictures of India....cutest thing EVER!

The pie that ruined Thanksgiving...

Here is my pie. I can't make pie. I always try and every time they end up looking like this. One time my friend Sarah Davis(Sherk)was getting married and having lots of pie at her reception. I said I would make a couple for her...but I make ugly pies. I had to have my mom come over and roll out and put together the crusts. I use to think that my pies were ugly because of the dough that I have to use (gluten free), but my mom proved me wrong when she made absolutely beautiful pies with the very same dough. Crap. How many times does a girl have to do something before she can catch on?

Sweet Baby Shiloh

Shiloh is the sweet baby of Jen and Filipe Nunes. They have been in the process of adopting her from Guatemala for many months. They have had her precious picture since she was 2 weeks old and she is now 7 1/2 months. They have gone to see her and spent a week in Guatemala as a family. Shiloh is still in her orphanage just waiting to come home to them. There are several things holding up the process and (even though they have been trusting God all along) it is getting harder and harder for them to be without their child. Now with the political situation in Guatemala changing there is a very strong need to pray for this family. The new president is saying that he will stop all adoptions coming from their country, including ones that are already in process now (this would include Shiloh), at the beginning of the new year. At this point now it looks like Shiloh wont be home before then. This is a very discouraging and scary situation for the Nunes family.

What they really desire is to have their daughter home and safe with them by Christmas time. For this to happen it is going to take a miracle. We need to all pray that God will answer the desires of their hearts and bring her home to them.

I know it's short notice, but on Wednesday the 21st (the day before Thanksgiving) we are going to do a prayer and fasting day. We are asking anyone who knows their family or who wants to petition God on behalf of this precious child and her family join us. If you have a blog or myspace please link to this post or cut and paste this request so that as many people as possible read this before Wednesday.

If you want to pray with us please do so. If you would like you can leave a note on my blog or Jen's letting us know you are joining in or just write a note of encouragement for this family.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers!

My four girls

First I have to say that I just got back (Ok, I got back almost two weeks ago...but I am just now getting around to posting so...) from the greatest trip to Oklahoma to see my sweet sister in law and bff Tara and her hubby Eric. We enjoyed ourselves so much and Jones is still talking about it. T and E have the cutest house ever and it was so fun to be with people we love and can just be ourselves around. We love you guys! Thanks so much for everything!!

...Moving on...

Speaking of love...I have four girls...four girls that I love. I want to tell you a little about all of them, but I am trying to decide how to start. I guess I will go alphabetically....so here you have...my favorite girls. (which by the way have all moved away from me...except one came back...thanks Arwen.)

Arwen
Arwen is my special friend who can do the super-fast robot and remembers every single inside joke...even if no one else does. She is the funniest blogger I know and can create poems and songs that are hilarious at the drop of a hat. She has a nickname for everyone. We always have fun together, even if we just go shopping at target. She has a tender heart and cries easier than maybe anyone else I know. She is super artistic. I can think of a hundred different stories with Arwen in them and all of them make my heart happy and make me laugh. She is one of the only people I feel kind of ok with coming to my house when it is a sty...and that means a lot. She has hands down the best short hair I have ever seen and every time I see her hawk I get jealous in my heart!

Ashtin
Ashtin is my sweet friend and cousin. She is a lover (not in the sexual way...like she is a lover, not a fighter) and the most tender mommy. She is the person I know that when she calls she is going to be super great and make me feel like a million dollars (Everyone needs a friend like this!). We were both pregnant, miserable and hated being pregnant together (when I was having Jones). Whenever we are together we laugh non-stop. Ashtin is super creative and artistic and can make anything she wants with a knitting loom. She has a cute funky style and the best diamond plugs I have ever seen. In fact she was the very first girl that I ever loved plugs on. Oh and the cutest little girl Lola Jane!

Jess
Jessi Brahim is my Martha Stewart friend. Seriously...there is nothing that she cannot make...and if she makes it, it looks good! When she lived here we would do crafty things together (it was so fun) and I always wished mine looked like hers. I am not kidding when I say that if you go to her house for dinner she will amaze you. She will have food you have never heard of (except from maybe Martha), drinks to compliment and her fancy dishes will even match! She has the biggest heart and takes care of anyone in her path that may even look like they have a need. She is very giving with everything she has. Whenever I get prego and sick she cooks and takes care of me. She loves babies and I know someday when God gives her the special babies He has planned she is going to make a great mommy!

Tara
TT is my sweet sissy and friend. She is the BEST story teller ever (and that is no lie.) and makes everyone laugh. She has such a precious heart and loves Jesus so much. Everything touches her heart and brings tears to her eyes. She is super stylish and whenever I get dressed I think WWTW, "What would Tara Wear?". I don't think there is a piece of clothing around that she can't make look good or add the perfect accessory to. She has great taste and is very creative. She can match colors and decorate like no on I have ever seen. When I am with T I always enjoy myself and feel completely comfortable. We laugh so much together and have almost all the same tastes in things. I love you.

(Side note: Crap...did you notice that all of my friends are creative/artistic and have tender precious hearts...and all four (even if I didn't mention this) will cry at the drop of a hat?! I must surround myself with people like this subconsciously...since I am not creative in the least and have no heart. or maybe I want to someday have a heart?? I have no idea!)

I have so much to say about all of them and it was so hard to keep it short. I just want you all to know that you are very special and precious to me. The only way I could like you more is if you would stop moving away and leaving me here...but to that I see two realities. 1. We are all adults and that is what happens in adulthood. People needs jobs and husbands and so on. I am just going to have to get over it. 2. I am really the winner in all of this, because I still get to live in the northwest right next door to Portland. I don't have to live in The South or Idaho or even expensive Seattle....and that makes me a happy girl.

My babies

I needed a new post so that the previous post wouldn't always be what greeted you when you visit my blog. I mean the things on that post needed to be shared, but it's not really the best thing to see everyday. So since I have nothing really to share right now, I thought that I would just post a couple of pictures.

Jones loves to paint, but we only let him every once in a while and always in his high chair. I think you can see why.

This is the new hat I just bought Jones. He decided to wear it backwards (like any cool kid would), with his jammies. I think it looks best that way.India has a natural faux-hawk and a double chin. How precious.

Getting off the Butt Sex Band Wagon...a tale of internet porn and my hotmail account

Crap guys. I have something to tell you all, I get Internet porn emails. I get them A LOT. I actually get at least 15 a day. The worst thing about it?? Almost all of them are about butt sex. I know, disgusting right? Well you should see the subject line...I am not going to go into it here, but lets just say "Girls like it in the anus with a pink dildo" is the most mild of the topics. Use you most wild, perverted imagination and I have gotten an email with that subject line. A lot of them don't even make sense or aren't spelled right.

At first they didn't really bother me, a couple dirty emails here, a few "blonds with big boobies" there (seriously some of them actually say "Boobies". I thought people stopped saying that in Jr. High...Oh no! I am getting porn from Jr. highers!!). But that was in the beginning...that was just a few a day. I can't take so many. What makes matters really bad is they are just getting worse by the day and they cannot be blocked because they always come from different people.

The one thing I have been wondering in the middle of all of this...how did a girl get signed up for so much butt porn?!? Where have I been giving out my email address? Apparently I have some very dark secrets...so dark in fact that I am keeping them even from myself??

There is only one thing a girl can do, change her email address. I intend to do this tomorrow. So if you are a person that I email and you do not get an email from me in the next few days with my new address, then contact me so I can send it to you. I have to protect this new address with my whole life...the butt pirates are out to get me.

I know...my next post wont be about my children...I promise.

Here is a newer picture of little Indi...I know she is so cute right? She has been sick the past week and a half and the most precious thing about it is that the Dr. today told me that part of the reason she has been so congested is that her little features (such as her nostrils and mouth and her little ear canals) are so tiny (even for a baby, she just has petite little parts), that they get plugged so easily. How cute is that?

Here is a video for you enjoyment. India started really rolling over at 3 weeks 1 day old...and we actually caught it on video! Also, Jones only started singing about 5 weeks ago. He was never interested in it before, but when he did decide to start he knew every word to every song we have ever sang him. Crazy. The video of him singing is from about 4 weeks ago. I love toddlers.

Baby milk, pacifiers, and blanket capes with utility belts.

Here has been Jones' take on Breast-Feeding:
Number 1:
J:"Daddy do you where baby milk comes from? The hospital."
R: "Really?"
J: (Laughing) "Not really! It comes from Mommy's boobs!"

Number 2:
J: "India eats baby milk. She licks mommy's boobs."

Number 3:
(India has been crying for just a minuet and I am trying to get Jones in the bathtub so I can go pick her up.)
J: "Mommy, India's crying. Pull your boob out and feed her!!"

Needless to say my son is very observant and slightly obsessed with breast-feeding. I know it is a natural thing and it's OK for him to be interested, but sometimes it gets a little awkward when he tells people that his sister licks his mom's boobs. Weird.

Time for a few pictures

Jonesy loves to lay down with Indi and he always wants to kiss her. What a sweet brother.

Here he is with his most treasured possesion...It doubles for best friend/blanket and "utility belt". He just just discovered the foot bath. Cute boy! India 10 days...she's a thinker. At five days she had to start with her pacifier (reflux issues), we decided this one was too big. Mommy looks tired, but naked pictures are classic

India Jayne

Here she is! Our sweet baby girl came on Saturday the 1st at 5:15 pm. She weighed 7lbs 8oz and was 19 1/2 inches long. (Kat wins the bet for right baby day and Brahim Brahim wins for the right baby size!!) Here are a few pics...

Still waiting...

Yesterday I was at the Dr. and she felt really bad for me that I am still pregnant. Before she was even in the door she was apologizing, saying she would do whatever she could to get me in labor. You see, I have been having contractions now for 20 weeks. A lot of days I will have them up to 6 hours at a time...every five minuets...and they don't do anything. It kind of sucks, but at least she wants to help me get this going right? Well, after some discussion (because now my usually very low blood pressure is getting pretty high as well) she decides I need to be induced, my choices are get induced Saturday morning (Today) or in 8-10 days. I obviously chose today...but there was one catch...
I only get to go in to be induced if someone else who has a more pressing medical issue doesn't have to go in first. They told me to go home yesterday and they would call me in the morning (today) around 7-8 and let me know when to come in. It is now 8:40....I have heard nothing from them. So of course, being that I have been pregnant for 40 weeks, I am not really patient, I give them a call. They tell me nothing except that they will call me. CRAP! Will this ever end??!

So if I ever get a call from them I might be having a baby today, but then again I could be prego for the rest of my life....seriously. I will post again with pics when she comes. Here's hoping it's today!!

The final countdown...You could be the winner

So it is finally time to start the count down for this baby. I am due in exactly 16 1/2 days (Sep. 3rd). I think everyone should vote and say exactly what date you think India is coming and also guess as to how much she will weigh.

A little background to aid in your guessing:
Jones was induced on, but born the day after his due date.
He was 7lbs 15oz and had a 14 inch head.
This whole pregnancy I have been having contractions...but they don't really change my cervix.
As of today I am dilated to only 2 centimeters and am only 40% "thinned"
India is extremely low and head down

There is all of your info...Guess away my friends. Remember, what date and what size. I think there will be a prize for the winner of each category, I am just not sure what it will be yet.

Oh, and if you haven't seen them yet you should go check our my prego pictures on Jen's blog. She took them this past week and she did such a good job!! Thanks Jen!

books, books, books

When we really shouldn't have, but went ahead and did it anyway, about two weeks ago Ry and I bought 4 or 5 books online off amazon. Ry also got a bunch of good books for his birthday...so we are set on reading for awhile. I have already finished one good book (Which we actually got on our anniversary, so it doesn't count as any of the books mentioned above) and am in the middle of two more ( I think Ry is reading about four of them at once). I thought I would share them with you since they have all been amazingly good and generally very thought provoking.

1.)Grub: Ideas for an Urban Organic Kitchen By Anna Lappe & Bryant Terry
This is the one I just finished. The first half of the book was very eye opening to the politics involved with food (You wouldn't think something like food would be extremely politically charged), the choices that go along with how we eat, and the effects these issues have on our society and the world. It's main goal was to give lots of information and enable you to make whatever informed choices you want about your life/food. The second half of the book is designed as a cook book/menu planning guide. It comes with music and poetry for every main seasonal menu.

2.)Rich Christians In An Age Of Hunger By Ronald J. Sider
I think Ryan might have already mentioned this book, but it's good....real good. We are both reading through it right now and it is a book that you should read only if you are willing to question the beliefs our culture as far as Americans and as followers of Christ live and view money and wealth.

3.) The Revolution: a Field manual for changing your world By: a compilation of essays from different authors, edited by Heather Zydek (Author for Relevant magazine)
This book is just a compilation of essays from different people addressing some of the top social/political issues right now (Woman's rights, clean water, fair trade, etc....). It is refreshing to read (But also extremely sad in a way), because it doesn't just give you a problem, it gives lots of different suggestions for way to get involved with each issue on many different levels.

The last two books I mentioned neither of us have finished yet, I will give you my final opinion when we do. Until then I highly suggest reading any of them...and then we can talk about it.

I really need to start a book club...that would be so fun.

It's just so hard

Sometimes I don't want to shave my legs. It's not so much that I am just lazy, but it's so hard to bend over my giant stomach and shave....I feel as though it is not really worth it. So if you are wondering I haven't shaved my legs in like 6 days. The main problem with this is that I'm so stinking hot that I have to wear capri pants, shorts, or a dress. And so I just do it...have ridiculously hairy legs and wear clothing that reveals them. Does that make me gross? OR since I now have dreads does it just make me a for real dirty hippie? Is that a good enough excuse?


Crap. It just makes me gross. I am going to shave right now.

Dreaded Mama

It has finally happened! Thanks to Tabitha Jane and Arwen I now have about 42 luscious (can a dread be called luscious??) dreads all over my head. It took several different session, but between the two of them they got all of it done Thursday and Friday. (Thanks for making them look SO good!) Arwen has the pictures of the whole process on her camera, so I will post them later. Here is what the finished product looks like.... My head sort of itches today and I can't seem to remember how to take care of them all the different ways Tj told me to, but I still LOVE them. I just hope I can keep them up so they keep looking so nice. It has been interesting to already see how many people stop and look at you when you have dreads. We went to the farmers market today to get produce and it was almost a little awkward. I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow when I go to Renovatus.

Oh and Jones loves them too. He like that mommy now has "Spikes".

And Ryan wont stop asking me for pot.

Mommy eat poop?

I know my last post was about Jones, but he is so darn funny these days, I can't help it.

Tonight I made him nachos for dinner. I put meat and whole pinto beans and cheese on them. When I set his plate in front of him it went something like this...

Jones: (starts crying), "No. No poop on Jones' nach-nos (Nachos)"
Me:"What?"
Jones: "no poop. No poop on Jones'"
Me: "That's not poop Jones. That is just beans and meat."
Jones: "No...poop. Poop on nach-nos" (More crying)
Me: "Jones mommy didn't put poop on your nachos. Look it is meat and beans, mommy is eating hers."
Jones: "mommy eat poop?"
Me:"no mommy doesn't eat poop. Do you want me to take off your beans and meat?"
Jones: "Yes. Poop off."

I picked off his "poop" and he started eating. He did however continue to bring it up frequently the rest of the meal, "no mommy, no poop jones' ".

What kind of a mom am I? My son thinks I put poop on his food. Crap.

Here are a couple of prego pics. Lovely huh?

Hey God...

So Jones was sitting in his high chair enjoying a snack of peanut butter covered rice cakes and strawberries (Also known as "Wa-berries"), when he decided he needed to pray. He folded his hands, looked down and said, "Hey God. Amen" Then went back to eating.
I love that precious boy.

Here he is at Jillian's wedding in his tux.

Just a couple cute pictures of our sweet boy.
(Look at his poor little rash around his mouth. He is having an allergic reaction to something, but we can't figure it out. If you have any ideas of what it could be let me know.)

Massive...not a good word to use.

Remember when I still have about 3 more months to be pregnant, but everywhere I go people literally say, "Oh my god, you are HUGE!! I didn't know you were due this month." Or "How is your body going to last 3 more months...you are MASSIVE!" (Massive and huge are not exaggerations of the truth, they are actually the two words people use to describe me most frequently.) They then try to cover up their obvious blunder by saying something like , "but you still look then." or "Your arms are nice and thin still." Duh, who when they get pregnant (except those who gain a very large amount of weight) gains a ton of weight in their arms?? Seriously people. One guy last week was standing behind me in line at the store. When I turned around to look at something he gasped (literally) and said "Oh my gosh...you are SO pregnant!! That's so... so...cute." Thanks. You can't say cute after you're so shocked by my size that you stop breathing for a second. I really don't mind being big and prego, but huge and massive are rather strong words to describe someone.

One a positive note...our baby girl is getting so big. She is probably around 2 1/2 pounds and now her chances of survival if she is born sometime soon have gone way up. She has like a 90% survival rate and only a 30% chance of having a major disability (she still has a pretty big chance of having quite a few minor disabilities). Another good things is that even though in the past month this week has been the worst for my contractions , I still haven't been to the hospital since the 24Th of May! She is also big enough now for others to feel hand moving kicks and actually she my stomach do major flip flops...next time I am with you ask if she's moving and I will let you meet her. I am so thankful that God has blessed my family and my precious little girl so much.

More names to ponder

Here is our list of potential names we are thinking about. Some are new, but most are old. Jen and Brenda called Ryan yesterday and suggested a pretty good name. It was a name that we had talked about in the past actually, but took it off the list because we thought it might be to trendy...we looked it up and while it is more trendy than a name like Jones, it is actually not used that much at all. So that one might be the favorite at this point. Oh, that name was India (I think we would call her indy or indy Jayne).

(This list is in no particular order.)
Imani = faith or belief
India = body of water
Presley = Priest clearing
Parker = Gamekeeper of a park
Harper = A player on the harp
Evelyn = desired
Evie= Life
Amelia = industrious
Eloise =sun

So Ryan and I were talking in the car today and my trip I took to Africa about 5 years ago came up. We were talking about all the animals that are in Africa and the ones that I saw while there...I saw dogs and cows. That's it. All I saw were ugly cows and lots of dogs. I was away from the rest of my group when they saw monkeys and other things while rafting down the Nile river and I was sick and couldn't go when they went on a trip to a game park and saw the real animals you want to see while in Africa (you know, hippos, lions, elephants...etc). What is up with that? Go all the way to Africa and only see dogs and cows? I guess I will just have to go back again sometime. I think I will take Ryan next time I go, I think he wold really like it there.

I have have another really good story about something I saw in Africa...I will save it for another post, but it is good.Seriously, this is a real dog. I just threw up...and I think you did too.

Peace

Gasoline

So, Ryan filled our van up with gas tonight...it cost $80. That's right, 80 effing dollars!
I sure wish I owned an oil company right now and could make millions everyday off people having to have gas to get to their jobs and see their family. I sure wish I could have such control over everyone so as to charge an outrageous amount of money for something that doesn't really cost what I claim it costs me. I sure wish I was insanely rich and had lots of stuff and didn't care about anyone or anything but myself and my money and my only goal was to see how much stuff I could collect. Then I would be happy.

So Ryan and I have to decide soon what kind of birth control to use after the baby comes. We know this is the last child that we biologically want to have (I am totally not doing this again!!) and so are thinking about getting someone snipped...if you know what I mean. The only problem is that the doctors are very hesitant to sterilize someone so young as Ryan or myself. The other option that I am considering is the Mirena IUD. I have done some reading on it, but don't know anyone who uses that form of birth control...Do you? What do you guys think? Anyone out there have positives or negatives about vasectomies, tubal ligations, or mirena IUDs?? What are your experiences??

A little update

My little girl is without a name. I know we still have time...we aren't in a huge hurry, but it would still be nice if she had a name. I would like to start talking to her and saying her name now. So if anyone has any good suggestions let me know. It needs to work with the name Jones, not start with a J, and go with the middle name Jayne. That is all the stipulations we have.

Here are a couple of prego pictures, 25 weeks. I will try and take a couple better ones and post those too, maybe ones when I have brushed my hair.


What else? We had a crazy weekend! Jillian (my sister) got married on Saturday. It was so fun! Jones was the little ring bearer and he was SO adorable and did such a good job of walking up the isle without getting nervous (it helped that he was promised candy bars by grandma if he would do it). I will post pictures of that too, I didn't seem to get a very good one of him in his tux, so I have to wait until someone else sends me a better one.
On Sunday my other sister, Jenna, had her high school graduation party. And after the party all of my family went to my parents house to watch Jenna and Jillian/Mark open up all their gifts and have a BBQ. We had so much fun, but we are so tired and glad to just take today to be at home. Jones kept telling me this morning that "Nice Jones Home"....So I think we all appreciated the day just to relax at home.

It hard to believe, but Ryan and I have have still not seen Pirates! Crazy I know! We decided to wait and go see it when we had a sitter for Jones and we could go just the two of us on a date. Another crazy thing...a date! We haven't been on one in over 7 months and it is most definitely time now that I can do more. We usually don't like to go to movies for our dates, it seems kind of impersonal and non-connecting to us (actually we don't usually go to movies at all...the last movie I saw was the second pirates movie!!). We usually like to do something more interactive and where we can talk and look at each other, but anything just the two of us sounds like a good date at this point! And it is Pirates...so.

The other date thing that is looking interesting is Amos Lee. I saw on TJ's blog that he is coming to the Aladdin and he just happens to be coming on our anniversary! I know I probably need to get the tickets soon, but I don't know much about that venue. Is it the type of place that you can sit during the concert? I still can't go places where I have to stand for extended periods of time, so I have to find out before we get the tickets. If you know about the Aladdin let me know...Maybe I should just email Tabitha??

That is my rather long update. Hopefully the tux pictures will be up soon.

Happy Mothers Day!

This is the picture we used to make cards for our mom's for mother's day....don't you wish you were my mom?

And yes, those are nursing pads stuck to my sons chest...and yes, he did think they were boobs...and yes, he is yelling "TA-DA"...and yes, we did cut and paste him into a field of flowers....what would you have done with a picture like this??

A Good Book

I seem to have a little more time on my hands for reading. Anyone have a good book they can recommend me? I am taking all suggestions...I am fresh out of book ideas. Thank you and good-day.

P.S. I am actually taking all suggestions for things to do while laying down. Any old classic movies to recommend or other ideas of interest?

Time again for a little blogging

Yesterday I saw my friend Ashtin. She posed this question...."so you just have to lay around all day right? Why don't you put something on your blog?"

Good question Ashes. Why haven't I blogged? I've got lots of time and very limited possibilities of things to do in that time....what' wrong? I really had no idea when she asked me. But, as I was pondering this thought this very morning (while I am home alone while my boys are at church), I came to realize that I think I just don't have much of me left over. I think between the 15 weeks of being bed-ridden and hospitalized, all the while puking my guts out. The almost three weeks of just nausea, but being able to keep down most of my food (what a glorious three weeks those were!!). The scare of almost having our precious little girl at 20 weeks (and 11 ounces). The two weeks of bed rest and the potential 16 more. My heart being broken because I can't care for or even pick-up my confused toddler who just wants his mommy. All the while watching my exhausted, loving, selfless husband carry it all by himself......I am tired.

Tired in a way that cannot be cured by taking naps or going to bed on time. Tired not in a good way like at the end of a marathon or after a day playing at the beach. I am fatigued in my body, mind, and soul. A deep exhaustion that penetrates all of my being.

The worst part of all is not the potential of me being stuck inside on my back for another 4 months, but the fact of what it does to those I love most....Jones and Ryan. I am pretty sure I can for the health and life of my little girl stay down and not even have too terrible of a mood about it. But watching how it affects every part of Jones and how Ryan now has so much on his own...it breaks my heart. I know people say kids are resilient(which is a statement I almost in every way disagree with. I think I will post on this thought another time) and that Jones, in the long run will be fine. I know that when this is all over Ryan will have a little girl to show for it...but it's still hard. I still want to pick up my boy in my arms and be able to rock him to sleep. I still want to look at my husband and not see such tired eyes.

Man this post was a downer.

The dilemma

I haven't been thinking of much lately. I mean, being sick and a mommy takes it all out of me...Mentally speaking. There is one thing that I have been pondering though and I thought maybe you all could offer some advice/suggestions.

I am growing my hair out. I hate it really. I love short hair and look better with it. But I have a dream...A beautiful dream...One that I am starting to doubt.

I love and want with my whole heart to have dreads. They are beautiful and I love them.

The Problem:
Dreads look really good on most people that have them. But a majority of those people are just naturally cool or have a certain look/style to them...I have neither of those things going for me. It seems to look fabulous in dreads you have to
A. Be a super cool hippy chick (like TJ)
b. Be funky Portlandy
c. Be Uber outdoorsie (you know what I mean by this)
d. Be 55 and have never brushed your hair as an adult

I am an average 20 something with no particular style. Average clothes, average mom. But I really love dreads. What is a girl to do? Can I still have these beautiful wads of hair and be plain old me? Is that what makes them so great?

So with no answer I continue to grow my average straight hair. Dreaming of the day I can have bad ass dreads. But should this day ever come? That is the question.

Jones...all American boy.

A lot of you who know Jones know that he signs half of his words and he says the other half. He probably can sign about 20 words and knows around 30 English words. (It depends on when he wants to use them though, so you may have never been witness to this.) One thing that he signs is "I love you". He doesn't use it very often, it is reserved for Mommy, Daddy, grandparents, and the occasional aunty.

Yesterday he was eating pizza. Which he really likes. Which he rarely gets because I have to make it from scratch so it is gluten free. But yesterday as a special treat Ryan (since I haven't been able to cook for ever 6 weeks) got really brave and for the first time made pizza from scratch...he is such a good daddy. It turned out good and Jones was in heaven. He was so happy in fact that every time he would take a bite he would say "Oh, yummmm. Yummm." He got so into his food that while eating his second piece during the "Yumm", he would look at his pizza and sign "I love you" to each bite. I asked him "Jones are you saying you love the pizza?" He just said "Yeah" and kept on enjoying and loving his food.

Don't feel bad if he has never said that he loves you. Apparently that special phrase is reserved for important things like Mommy, Daddy, and Pizza.

My poor husband...

Hey guys,

I just wanted to ask if you could be praying for our family. With baby #2 coming and me being so sick, Ryan is carrying a big load. He is not only doing everything for the house on his own, but also working at Outback, with Renovatus, and taking on pretty much being a single parent (as well as taking care of my many needs and puking). We are already feeling the strain of this possibly long process…

Please pray that Ryan can have peace, energy, good rest, and emotional reserve.

Pray that I can feel better and can be the helper my husband is needing so badly.

Pray that sweet Jonesy can better adjust to the changes in our house and routine.

Thank you so much. I really value all of our blogmunity.

WELL...Here we go again.

About a week ago I started feeling sick. I mean...just like sick to my stomach, tired, headaches...you know, normal "Ichy Feeling". I thought little of it until I realized that it was getting worse and that I would feel a little better if I ate food...Constantly. Finally I decided to go adn get a prego test at the local Kaiser...and...you guessed it.

We are having another baby!

We have no idea when it is due...I thought maybe end of September (the nurse said that would mean I literally JUST got pregnant...She thinks Aug 27th...Which is 2 days after Jones' birthday!! Crap)...Apparently I have no idea about this sort of thing. Anyway, this was sort of unplanned, but not totally prevented (which I guess means planned). We were totally shocked because we were still considering if we would try this again. So...That's the big news. We are SO excited and very nervous. So far I am only a little sick. I sort of just feel sick all the time and am very tired. I haven't really thrown-up at all yet, but I do wake-up all night sick, so that sort of sucks to never get a break from it. So pray for us and for little Jonesy...I don't want him to have to be without a Mommy.

I decided to include a few shots from when this happened before...

This is me at 6 months, great face huh? (Notice the how I don't have any hair...to sick to do it...Lets hope not this time.)

Here I am (looking very happy, I might add) at I think around 9 months.