Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Getting off the Butt Sex Band Wagon...a tale of internet porn and my hotmail account

Crap guys. I have something to tell you all, I get Internet porn emails. I get them A LOT. I actually get at least 15 a day. The worst thing about it?? Almost all of them are about butt sex. I know, disgusting right? Well you should see the subject line...I am not going to go into it here, but lets just say "Girls like it in the anus with a pink dildo" is the most mild of the topics. Use you most wild, perverted imagination and I have gotten an email with that subject line. A lot of them don't even make sense or aren't spelled right.

At first they didn't really bother me, a couple dirty emails here, a few "blonds with big boobies" there (seriously some of them actually say "Boobies". I thought people stopped saying that in Jr. High...Oh no! I am getting porn from Jr. highers!!). But that was in the beginning...that was just a few a day. I can't take so many. What makes matters really bad is they are just getting worse by the day and they cannot be blocked because they always come from different people.

The one thing I have been wondering in the middle of all of this...how did a girl get signed up for so much butt porn?!? Where have I been giving out my email address? Apparently I have some very dark secrets...so dark in fact that I am keeping them even from myself??

There is only one thing a girl can do, change her email address. I intend to do this tomorrow. So if you are a person that I email and you do not get an email from me in the next few days with my new address, then contact me so I can send it to you. I have to protect this new address with my whole life...the butt pirates are out to get me.

8 comments:

Kat said...

You are too funny.....
My hubby gets a lot through our business, but that email address is out there a lot. I get maybe 4 a day & I have had the same email address for 10 years. I do a lot of online purchasing & am subscribed to a lot, so I have never figured out why some get so many & then there are a few fortunate ones like me.......you may want to hang onto the Viagra ones.......Ryan may get there sooner than you think! :P

Eric & Tara said...

mmm yum.
This is an unfortunate situation Jess. I feel your pain and have had these same butt pirate type problems. I dont get them anymore though because we have a filter on our computer- WiseChoice.net I think. I like it. I suggest it. And it keeps butt-y emails out of my computer.

arwen said...

i think the e-mails are coming from Kat..... (i'm kidding. clearly they're not)

if you end every single post of yours with "The Butt-Pirates Are Out To Get Me", we can be friends forever.
in fact.....
I AM your blog administrator, so I could just make it happen..........

maybe you remember the time that Chris got mad at someone and did something not very nice? Remember that story?
maybe that's how it happened.
a drug deal gone wrong.
so very, very, underaged and wrong.....

Jen said...

Arwen, as Jessica's blog administrator, you should be fired. Would you please update their family picture? You don't love India, do you? That's it! WEll, everything is not about you! Think about other people. And their recently born children, would you? I've done all I can... Take it upon yourself to fulfill your calling in life. Change that picture.

As for Jessica, that's horrible! We've only received Viagra! Good luck on the email change. Very good choice!

Chris Alexander said...

We used to have contests when I worked at Millennium that centered on spam. On Friday you'd pick the best subject line of the week and we'd vote to see whose was best. The sexual ones rarely got used though: they are too common.

I've also heard good things about WiseChoice.Net, as well as a few others. No spam filter on HotMail?

It was NOT me. I didn't spambomb you. I swear. But if you find out who did, just slip me their email and I'll take care of it....

arwen said...

Jess.... don't even bother reading this comment. It's got nothing (or very little) to do with you.

Jen: do I have your artistic permission to use one of your photos for the header? I don't want to commit any kind of plagarism or anything. Stealing art is wrong.
interestingly enough, Metallica isn't art. Steal their music and then burn it.
if you don't know what i'm talking about, well... whatever.

I like when Chris is kind of like Big Brother Mafia Spam Guy.

Jen said...

You have my expressed written permission to use one family picture of Ryan, Jessica, Jones and India to be semi-permanently affixed to her personal blog site until it becomes outdated and she chooses to have you remove thus said picture.

I think I might have emailed her one that is cropped landscape so as to fit on her blog a little better...

tabitha jane said...

i had a lot of problems with hotmail, but since switching to yahoo a few years ago, it's been much easier to filter.