A little update...

I think most of you have heard that Jones has been super sick. He has been running a temp of between 102-104 for about 16 days now. (He has had many other things wrong too, but this is the most worrisome part). Good news...Yesterday and today his fever was on and off and I don't think it ever got over 103.5! I think we are on the other side of this illness. Finally. Thank you Jesus!

The interesting thing is that while they have not fully figured out what was completely wrong with him, they do know that he has Influenza (which I never really knew was worse than a flu bug) and pneumonia at the same time. I was telling someone that today and they asked me "well didn't he get vaccinated for that?" I told them no and they looked at me kind of irritated and said "oh well, that is too bad." I just smiled and said it is too bad when our children get sick.

The thing is, it is really hard being a parent and always having to make the decisions about your child's health. And while I know it is not true, I feel like it is even more hard when you are slightly educated and then have to make your own decisions not solely based on only one person's opinion (i.e. your doctor's) It is even harder when your decision is different than the cultural norm (Oh how I know that!). Sometimes it makes a girl want to just give up and take everything at face value and not search for real truth...right answers are sometimes hard to come by and usually even harder to follow through with.

I really believe that God made us with perfectly designed bodies. Ones that he created with a way of working and that way is so amazing that it blows my mind. I know that my children's immune systems are being formed right now for the rest of their lives and that from now until they are around 7 every illness is actually an odd sort of blessing. I know that fevers are meant to naturally destroy bad things like bacteria and I know that fighting off things on their own is only going to make them stronger. But it is still really hard to watch happen. Even though I know what fevers do I am still tempted to give them Tylenol to ease the discomfort. I know about children's bodies fighting things and how antibiotics usually are more harmful than helpful, but it sure does sound more appealing and like a much quicker and easier fix.

I have to make decisions based on what I know. Sometimes though it is hard when you are in the middle of something painful (watching your child be miserable) to hold out for the long term goal. When your child is sick for 15 days it is hard to look toward their adult life and says "wow you sure are going to thank me someday when you have an immune system of iron!" Tough. That's what being a parent is...wonderful and tough.

(By the way, I am not judging anyone. I have to do what I think is best for my family, just like you have to do what is best for yours. I may not vaccinate and try not to use many antibiotics, you may be ok with both. Whatever the case, can we agree not to judge?)

Oh and I didn't just let Jones lay there being sick. I did take him to the Doctor and chiropractor lots of times. I also treated him with lots of homeopathic things and gave him baths and smoothies and all that. I even tried an antibiotic ( I can only take so much peer pressure!), but said no to a second. I am not heartless!!

Collage Time

For my mom's birthday I am going to make her some sort of picture collage of my kids for her office. She has a pretty bare and boring office and so while I do not want to make a massive collage, I do have a little bit of space to do pretty much whatever I want. So...do you have any creative ideas? Any cleaver material to use? Please do share...

Killer Spider Part 2

As I am sitting here in the bedroom, not doing much of anything (except waiting for a knock at my door and a giant man size killer beetle to walk through), I have had a few realizations about what has transpired at my house in the past 30 mins.

First: the thing that I noticed immediately after posting, was the fact that at the very moment I felt the urge (might I say strong survival need) to check on the creature behind me, was at the exact time he started to fly. Coincidence? I think not. Do you know why? Because anyone would have turned...I swear I could actually hear his mammoth wings as he took flight.

Second: Once you have lost a predator it is a bad idea to leave a room and turn off all the lights on your way...especially if you are going to have to go back into that room! (what can i say, it wastes energy to leave lights on! Just because that t bug has a nasty foot print, it doesn't mean I have to have one as well!)

Third: I blame my Christmas tree for all of this. I am never getting one again.

Fourth: Sometimes I am a little extreme and act out of impulse.

Fifth: I will more than likely get a Christmas tree again next year.

Sixth: The good news (besides Jesus and his kingdom of course...that's a given) is that Arwen is coming over to be with me (I had to be a brave mom and leave the room we were hiding in...Jones had to go to bed and I think I was bothering him) and she mentioned something about a sword. Well it is going to take one to slay this beast if he ever comes out of hiding.

To be continued....


I just found the bug....and I think he likes red...guess who is wearing a red head scarf?!

Killer Spider Part 1

I am not exaggerating when I tell you that there is a spider above my back door 9the one that sits by my chair and couch) the size of a golf ball! I am not joking. The worst part...I can see it crawling. worst part number 2....my husband is at work. This only leaves me two options: 1. to smash the beast or 2. wait till Ryan gets home to kill him. I will tell you right now that there is no way that I am killing that bug. Number two it is...wait for Ryan. The main proble

OH MY GOODNESS

While I was typing I turned around to keep an eye on the evil spider. AND HE WAS FLYING! He is not a spider, but a massive flying beetle thing with a giant stinger! I don't know which is worse....Actually I do...this thing can fly and now I don't know where it is!

Ok, I am writing the rest of this from my bedroom. Jones and I are are locked in here, because we lost the nasty creature. (don't judge me...You would be hiding too if you were trapped in a house with that thing, especially if you don't know where it went!) I will keep you updated. Think good thoughts for me, I am going on a mission out to the kitchen for rations. Apple juice has been requested and I don't think there will be rest till it is received.

1 baby + double ear infection


......................And......................


1 boy + pink eye


=

On the bright side I over heard Jones saying to India "Because that's how I roll India. That's how I roll!"

Yes, I know... It doesn't get any better than that.

True Story

Ok so here is the scene:

We (my little family) are all driving in the car. I am really frustrated about something (like a project I was working on kept messing up...I don't remember exactly.). I have been talking about it to Ryan for over 5 minutes when I say, "I am just so angry".

From the back seat Jones says, "you should talk to Jesus"
M: What Jones?
J: You should talk to Jesus.
M: That's a good idea
J:Mommy is your heart filled with anger?
M: Yes, i guess so.
J: is it filled with jealousy too?
M: Mostly anger.
J: You need to talk to Jesus and ask him to fill your heart. Fill it with Him and with love.
M: You are right. I should pray to Jesus about it.
J: You don't have to pray. Just have to talk to Him. Ok...
M: Right now?
J: Yes mommy, right now. Ask Jesus to fill your heart.
I then prayed in the car that Jesus would fill my heart with him and Love and take away my frustration. We then moved on to a theological discussion over if praying to God and talking to God are the same thing or not...I am not sure what we decided in the end. (In some discussions he (Jones) cannot be swayed. He still strongly insists that John Denver wrote Eleanor Rigby and the Beatles just covered it, no matter what evidence I show him!)

How precious and awkward all at the same time. It really is amazing though how simple most things with Jesus really are and how we forget sometimes he is right there to talk to. (you don't have to pray...duh.) I am glad that we have our children to teach us how to have a real relationship with God, one uninhibited by all our rules and independence.

Indi Jayne what crazy hair you have...

My sweet baby has soft fluffy curly hair. Some days it is has precious ringlets and other days it resembles Richard Simmons. One thing that is true though...no mater how tight the ringlets or how fluffy the puff, she always has a wad in the back that is tangled. Her she is in all her glory. Christmas tree hunting

Reading with Arwen

Sneaking into the bath before her clothes were removed

Just waking up from a nap...such lovely hair

Half way between puff and ringlets

Again, just gotten up from nap

Doesn't quite show it...almost a good ringlet shot

Plans of mice and men

Lots of changes in all the plans that I have been making over the pat couple of months. I don't know if you remember the plans for the foster baby? Well, if you haven't guessed they are on hold. With Ryan intending to go back to school, we felt like adding another baby to the mix would be a little much. We were also advised by some past foster parents to maybe wait until our children get a few years older. I do know there will always be the need and really do look forward to when we will be able to care for a little baby until their parents become equipped and desire to do so. Moving on...

(Hey Ashtin, I tried to call you tonight. Do you not have an answering machine hooked up yet?)

I am sure, if you have been reading Ryan's blog at all you know we are in the middle of fund raising for this next year. i don't know what my deal is this year...usually things like fund raising make me excited and anticipating, watching what God will do and really expecting that He will do something great. But this year I have been quite the downer. I am anxious about the whole thing...strangely stressed and not really invested or wanting to hear updates or keep up with anything. And it seems as though instead of praying and seeking God, I am trying to figure out solutions on my own. How can I make money? Or thinking maybe we should look into different jobs. I have even found myself being angry with Ryan and wishing he would have just been a normal minister in a church that pays him, instead of after over three years of work, just having a one year long part time salary...that we had to raise. The problem with this anger is that (besides that fact that one should not be angry at their husbands...in general) WE chose this ministry, not just him. Anyway, I have been in a really down place about this all.

I have been trying to put a finger on what it is that is causing this shift. This frustration and general lack of faith. I have come up with a couple of possibilities. One might be that this last year was rough financially. Not like "my marriage and all of life is barely hanging on" rough, but more "living several thousand dollars below the poverty level in a expensive city is really hard" rough. The thing is that i think my family has actually been blessed through this and most of the time I don't even view myself as someone who is poor...I feel I make sacrifices, but never poor. I think we have gained a healthy view of materialism and finding happiness without having an excess of things (although we do have a lot). But at the same time I really do have pity parties and get in a place where I think..."seriously a girl sometimes would like anything new that fits or not have to feel guilty over spending $2 dollars on a coffee with a friend." Usually I do not dwell in this place long, because God humbles me and brings my heart around, reminding me that I have it SO much better than millions of other people. This time though I think I have been in this spot a little longer and maybe it's because I am looking at another year of this same very simplified living and maybe it is because of the season. It has been so much easier for me to stop wanting so much by just stopping to shop all together. But now with the Christmas shopping it reminds me of "what I don't have" or the fact that "my clothes are no longer in style". (this would be an interesting thing to explore deeper in the future...how, when we are not in a place to compare with others and their things, is everyone more happy? if we stopped putting ourselves in places that told us we want more, would we not want it anymore? i think so...) Isn't it interesting that something can bless us so much and be so hard at the same time. I wish that our nature wasn't such that we had to continually put our hearts in check. Wouldn't it be easier if we could just make a decision and have a conviction and stick to it without having to continuously rededicate. So this might be one reason.

Another reason is that I have ideas of how things should go. I really feel that I have good ideas and plans...wouldn't it be best if God would just align himself with them? \In the past I don't think I really grasped the extent of how God's plans are usually much different than ours. I have always know this, but this year in obedience to him i experienced it. Man it is hard sometimes...but would I have changed it? i think true faith that requires us to actually trust that God loves us more than we love ourselves and that he really does know and want better for us is so hard. I have discovered though that hard living in God's plan is peaceful and blessed and beautiful...living a little easier in the present, but not in God's will may seem easier to bare, but you miss out on so many blessings and your life can never be as truly beautiful. Even after saying all this and really believing it, I am at the place right now of having to follow what I believe even though i don't really want to. Hard.

Sorry if it feels as though I am dumping, i really think it is just refreshing when Christ followers will be real and open about the journey that faith actually takes and I always want to be honest with you.

Now, for today, we don't know what God has in store for us in 18 days, when our funding is essentially gone. We don't know where God is wanting Ryan to go to school or how we will pay for it. We are unsure where we will be living after February or weather or not i will be working. But I do now that the last sure thing we did know is His calling for us here working for renovatus. I know that he loves us and following Him will ultimately bring lives of beauty that we ourselves could not have composed. I know that God provides for and blesses his children in more ways then they can understand. And I am choosing to live out of that in faith...weather or not my heart feels up to the challenge. Pray for me that I will step out in faith again everyday.

So...

Guess who wrote a 8 paragraph blog post update?

Guess who's husband erased it while reading it before it was posted?

Guess who is never going to write another post again?

Boo

Big Pharmer

You all know that some of my beliefs are a little different than a lot of "main-stream" beliefs. One of these differences is concerning vaccinations. While this blog is not about all the reasons why I think vaccinating children is not the way to make them healthy, (in fact I think it does just the opposite) I do want to bring one small piece of the big business out for you all to think about.

Many of us know that vaccinations are grown on dead animal tissues right? Viruses cannot grow on healthy tissue, so they use monkey, hamster and other dead animals to grow some of the ingredients. One of the downfalls to this is that any disease the animals have (such as monkey viruses) are then injected into our children (sadly these aren't even the worst things that are in there). Some people (I don't know why...please hear my sarcasm) are having a problem with this and so the big pharmacy companies have a solution.

They are growing many of the vaccinations now on aborted baby fetuses. So much better right? I mean now our living children can be injected with tissue from other dead babies instead of gross animals. And not to mention it gives the abortion clinics a way to make money off all the dead babies they have lying around right?

Gross. I am most definitely against abortion. I don't think that just outlawing it will make it stop, it might slow it down, but that isn't even the real issue. Our system, the cycle we have gotten ourselves into, and the way we care for our unwed mothers (not to mention things like the need for people to know the love of Jesus) are all part of the issue. I am unsure of what would be the best way to stop the abortion epidemic we have in our country...but I do know one thing. Giving the abortion clinics and Dr.'s a way to make money off the dead babies is never good. Pairing abortion and big business even more than they have is very bad and very unethical.

It is sad how much we are blind to what we don't care to research ourselves. Sad how much money and power corrupts good things like Dr's, health care, and protecting women.

Just reason number one why my kids are no longer getting vaccinations. Want to know more?

Guess who's cell phone died a tragic death which included randomly calling people 10-15 times in a row? Guess who miraculously was up for a new free phone which a contract renewal? And guess who got a new sweet red Centro palm phone for adding in a few extra bucks?

That's right...ME!

I love my new red phone. (I think the only person who can understand my deep love for this perfect red phone might be Sarah Davis. We are red loving soul mates!)



What a beauty!

A confession

So I haven't started the "sticking it to her" part of the bedtime routine yet. I am just so tired! But i think you all will be happy to know that we have pretty much gotten rid of the car seat and last night India slept from Midnight until 6 without waking up once! I am going to be honest...it was like heaven.

I will try again in the next couple of days to really make India stay in bed. I just have to tell myself it is worth staying actively awake for a potentially long time.

I wanted to share the excitement with you...

Part 1: Today for the first time in her entire life India Jayne ate 3 meals! Actual, real food (not maybe took a bite or two...if that) meals. In fact she even ate a few snacks in between! It's like she is a real 1 year old (or actually, with the amount, a real 8 month old...but still...one can't be too picky right?). Yeah for a baby that eats food!

Now if only she would start sleeping for more than 2-3 hour chunks...which brings me to...



Part 2: Tonight is the night. Poor India is getting the harsh treatment, no more night time feedings, no more sleeping in her car seat. That is right...her car seat. My child's favorite and almost only place she will sleep is her INFANT carrier. I believe this stems from her spending a large amount of her first several months of life in it. She had respiratory and reflux problems and so needed the "propped-up angle" the carrier provided...but still, the time has come. Ryan and I decided last week to start it tonight...I needed this time to become mentally prepared because there is a very real chance that she may scream all night. Months ago we tried sticking it to her and she screamed...no joke...6 hours straight...two nights in a row!! So now we are trying again. Lord help us!







And last I leave you with this...And your welcome...








This is the trimmed 'stach Ryan grew during our road trip to PAPA Fest. Yummy.

I nailed it....I...Nailed it

I have for a long while now believed extremely in the ability and drive of young people. High-school, college-age, and young adults still have the freshness and dreams to achieve (disclaimer: not that I think older people do not have any of these things, just not in the same way as younger people). It is like they have yet to be tainted with "reality" and the thoughts of "what is...is". They have haven't quite been as programed to think that they have no control. They buy into the ideal that together we can change things. By just starting with one individual, anything can happen. I also think that these recent few generations are also some of the most apathetic generations of our time. I believe that while they have this possibility of being a driving changing force, they lack the motivation and obligation to really harness this great tool that is just sitting at their fingertips, begging to be utilized. And this is where I think Barak Obama proved his brilliance.

I have said to Ryan many times that believe the best fund raisers could really be college students. If we could inspire, they would achieve whatever the vision. I really do think this. The key is providing that vision. Inspiring, tangible vision, that includes their ownership and belief int their world changing ability. I think that the Obama campaign and election has proved this tonight. If I agree with Him or not, if I voted for him or not (which I didn't, but I didn't vote for McCain either!), I have to give him my respect for his realising this and using it so proficiently. He nailed it.
Give young people a vision...Yes We CAN
Give them something they can cling to and believe...YES we CAN
Make them feel they own it....Yes WE can
Touch their hearts and give them hope for the future...Yes WE CAN
Speak of unity...Yes WE can
Lead them without dominating them...YES WE can

And when you get the momentum going, let them loose and don't hold them back...YES WE CAN.

Brilliant.

Just some more pics...but they are of halloween so come on!

Here are a few pictures of Halloween. Indi of course had to be a cute little elf/fairy and Jones wanted to be a blue monster. The fairy costume was super simple to make, a pillow case sewn into a dress, a pair of wings and a flower ribbon for her hair. Super cutie. The monster on the other hand was a little tough. Jones had specific instructions for what it was to look like...Blue fur, green stripe around the middle, long tail, monster hands with orange claws, and orange pointy ears. It took some time and a little creativity, but after all was said and done the monster turned out pretty darn good. It was fabric that I loosely sewed onto a pair of footy pajamas, a pair of gloves with felt claws and a hood with ears. Fabulous.

Precious fairy girl

Scary blue monster

Daddy and Jones Carving pumpkins

Just a picture update

Here is my cutie girl. If you are wondering she has added about 4 more bruises to her face since these pictures were taken. I think she is up to 6 bruises and a scratch on her little face. She is a focused little risk taker and she has the marks to prove it!




And here is Jones doing one of his favorite things, art work at his art station. I think he might be gluing beads onto old cds here...I am never really sure what he is creating.

Oh organization, how I long for the!!

My newest and oldest goal is to get organized. I feel as though I am only half doing so many things that I could do better if only I was organized. It is completely against my personality and being...but it must happen my friends! How is a girl to do it?? I have been convicted that first and foremost I need to pray about it. Since it is so extremely foreign to me, really the only way for me to be truly transformed is for God to intervene and change me from the inside out. Next I believe I need to take some action. But what? Anyone have any suggestions? Any tricks or systems I could implement? Any advice would be fabulous.

Thanks!

I love me some dreads. Seriously though, Ry and I have worked on my hair for about 30 minutes total the past two months and I have washed them maybe twice.(My hair doesn't really produce very much oil, so it only needs washing once a month.) That is it. No hair dryer, no styling...nothing. Just a scarf, a hair band, or just plain ol' down. What a time saver. I love them. I am thinking about dying some/all of them. Got any suggestions?

Out of the mouth of babes?

A couple of the things that Jones said this week...


"Your surgery was very very traumatic, huh daddy?"

"Daddy's surgery was traumatic because his balls are precious, right?"

"Jesus takes our hearts, but it is just a metaphor."

What the??? Who says words like traumatic and metaphor at 3 and actually uses them in the right context and knows what they mean. Weird.

Dang...

My kids are cute! And old...