Private Parts

My brother's son Koletin is 3. He is a crazy little guy, a boy through and through. And, like any boy is obsessed with his penis. He's gone through all the stages, driving it around like a stick shift, pulling it out to flash people, asking questions about it, you know, boy stuff. He has however, not really ever paid much attention to his testicles...until the other day. Here's what it looked like: (Koletin=K mom/Ciara=M Dad/Jeremy=D)
K: (In the tub) Hey mom look (points to testicles) There is something in there!
M: Yes Koletin there is.
K: What are they?!
M:They are your balls
K: My balls! I have Balls! What are they for?!
M: Yes you have balls. You need to ask your dad when he gets home what they are for.
Later Jeremy gets home from work
K:Hey dad guess what? I have balls!
D: Yes Koletin you do.
K: What are they for dad? What are my balls for?
D: Well when you get to be a big boy your balls will make you a man.
K: MY BALLS MAKE ME A MAN!!
D: yes Koletin, your balls make you a man.
K:You know what dad? Everyone has a butt.
D:yes Koletin, everyone has a butt.
K:And all boys have penises.
D:Yes all boys have penises
K:And all girls have penises??
D: No, girls have vaginas Koletin.
K: Girls have BAGINAS!
D: Yes girls have vaginas
K:Dad! boys have penises, girls have baginas, and everyone has a butt. huh dad?
D: Yes Koletin that's right.

Two days later (he had been talking with mom about how God made him and gave him a penis)
K: you know what mom? I have balls
M: Yes Koletin you have balls.
K: I have balls because Jesus gave them to me.
M: What?
K: Jesus gave me balls.

To that my dear friends I say Amen....Because it can't get much better than that.

Paying bills

I have nothing really to write about. Let me think...Hmmm...I had a great day. My husband and I try and work on bills together twice a month. We want to make it something that we don't hate too much and so will do little things to make it better. Example: Today we went to one of our favorite spots (Esther Short Park), got Starbucks, laid on a blanket in the sun and worked on our budget/paid bills for about an hour. It was so fun. Jones slept the whole time (We try and plan things like this around nap) and woke up after we finished, just in time for some swinging. I love my little family...especially my perfect husband. Sometime I will tell you some of the things I love about him.

(This Jonesy at Esther Short in April)

Before and after...What the??

Lisa thinks I am wearing tons of make-up to work out in. I added the red lipstick for the picture, but other than that just a little o' mascara and some liner. Before and after. Here you go.
The after is the one below. Now what do you think...Courtney Cox??

Yeah 1989!!

So I needed a new profile picture. I needed a good one. What better time then when one just got done working out, has on a sports top, and decided to wear red lipstick? None. I embraced my perfect opportunity.
This is what I came up with:

Courtney Cox....1989! Yes. Anyone else think this is the funniest, faux sexy pic ever. YES! "Yeah, lady with the red lips" (you just can't tell)

BEST. IDEA. EVER.

I was thinking today. I was thinking really hard...and....

HOW MUCH WOULD PEOPLE PAY ME TO CUT MY HAIR INTO A RAT TAIL??

Seriously. Let the bidding wars begin.*

*Only those who are serious may enter a bid. Good luck to all. May the best blogger win!

Just in case you forgot...here is a rat tail...

What I like about you...soccer style

The thing I love most about Soccer are the "SID" Kicks. "Sudden Instant Death" Kicks. You know the ones, the game is tied, goes into over time and then onto the kickout. Really, they are fabulous. They're exciting, suspensful, and all the players stand in a little line and hug each other. Sweet.

Sup ladies!

Sally Field is a massive tool

These were all questions I got off a website of converation starters. Next time I am eatting dinner with someone and there is a lull in the conversation I am going to pull out number 382. It should be great! And I did want to mention I got this idea from T.

405. Assuming that complete recovery were instantaneous, would you be willing to accept a year of total paralysis below the neck to prevent the otherwise certain extinction of a species of animal? It depends on what animals...I love milk, so for cows, sure. I do not however enjoy boring things like ugly fish...so for something like that, nope.

410. If you could wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else currently living, would you do so? Whom would you pick? If I could eventually come back to me,sure. And it would be...Marci Carmen??

411. Would you have one of your fingers surgically removed if it guaranteed immunity from all major diseases? Yes. Who wouldn't? "Hmm, lose a finger to flesh rotting disease or to surgery?"

414. Would you like to have a child much more intelligent and attractive than yourself? Please God make it so!

415. If you could have one superpower, which would you choose? to be able to make whatever food I wanted without cooking and clean my house, all with just my thoughts!

416. What was the most recent movie that made you cry? I don't really watch movies and I never cry. Oh wait...Anchorman, I cried everytime I saw it int he theatre. 4 times to be exact.

417. What famous person do other people tell you that you most resemble? This hurts me real bad, but I must be honest. Sally Field

421. What vegetable do you most resemble?A potato?

420. Do you believe honesty is the best policy? When in Rome

423. Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with? My hubby and we would get it on! Least like? Someone who smelled really bad, had bad breath and breathed disgustingly!

398. If you could solve one of history's "usolved mysteries" which would you choose?Who killed Ryan's Grandma
396. Would you accept $10,000 to shave your head and continue your normal activities without a covering of any sort and without being able to explain the reason? I would want to so badly, but in the end I wouldn't be able to and then would end up with just a plain ol' bald head.

393. Would it disturb you if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods to rot? I think I wouldn't know, but it might bother my hubby

390. Would $50,000 be enough money to induce you to take a loyal, healthy pet to the vet to be put to sleep? Interesting...(I am in a pickle...do I tell the truth and be shuned forever or do I say "never in a million years!?"...this is hard!)

388. Who is a better role model for children: Barbie or G. I. Joe? Depends. Do you want a girl who a. Has an eatting disorder or b. is a lesbo? AND a boy who a. kills everything and is violent or b. wants to be a pretty fairy girl? *

382. Which famous person, now dead, do you wish you could have seen naked? Anne Frank. (was that funny or was that just me??)

391. Would you be willing to give up all television for 5 years if it would induce someone to provide for 1,000 starving children? If you answer no to this question then you are just sick!

387. Who do you think should have been named as Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year”? Hello....The channel 4 news team!
Please feel free to answer any of these questions yourself...it will be intriguing.
*The comment on this question was a play on stereotypical fears and do not really represent the opinion of the author.