Friday, June 23, 2006

The best show in town...my butt?

We have a little hatch-back Hyundai Accent. A cute little silver guy. To get Jones in the car and into his car seat is quite a feat indeed. I must crawl behind the seats, squat down, balance myself on the ball of my feet (Not enough room for flat footed balancing) and lift him up in his chair (all this while holding him in my arms...he's 25 pounds and wiggly!!). Crazy, I know.

Today when we were leaving the grocery store he was very hungry and a little fussy so I decided to feed him after I got him strapped into his car seat. He was in his seat...I grabbed his biscuit/cookie thing...Resumed my squatting position...fed him...And then half way stood up. I was standing in this little car, completely in an "L" shape, bent at the waist. My bum was facing the windshield (actually, Practically on the windshield) and I was leaning over talking to Jones. He was frustrated with something and so I remained in this position for a good 2-3 minutes. All was good...or so I thought. Today was wearing a long dress, which I guess while squatting had somehow hiked up around my tummy, slip and all. For two minutes I had been standing with my underwear covered butt exposed...I am pretty sure I had a fantasic weggie to boot.
How did I discover this? It wasn't until I heard a truck start behind me and I peered through my legs to see an older couple in the truck part directly nose to nose with my car. They were trying to look like they hadn't noticed my underwear stuffed crack exposed, but you could tell they were a little bit shocked my the whole thing. I reached up, picked my weggie, pulled my dress back over my buns and and looking like nothing had happened I calmly walked around to my car door, all the while smiling at the older couple and mouthing, "have a nice day". I got into my seat and drove away...To my knowledge the couple just sat there starring. I hope they got home tonight.

12 comments:

Rizzle said...

I'm just going to say what everybody is already thinking...All you guys out there better go grab a paper towel to clean up all the drool off your keyboard. Mmm, my wifes butt (pretend I'm saying it like Homer Simpson. It's funnier that way).

arwen said...

Best. Story. Ever.

rebecca marie said...

that was me and the mister. we went home and got. it. on.

tara said...

i like big butts and i cannot lie.

Jen said...

I don't know if other people have this problem but your new layout is way wacky and messed up when I open it. Words are cut off and overlapping and I can only see half of the site, some is completley disappeared and black...

Anyways, I hope that never happens to me. But sometimes I change in the care and hope nobody sees...

Jess said...

Jen, Sometimes this happens. Are you using firefox to view my blog?? That is usually when people are having the most problems. Hmm I might have to change my background if this keeps up! Did you here that Arwen? Maybe we should start looking?

dodyb said...

Jen I have the same problem...so to read Jess's blog I go use internet explorer. It worked this morning anyway.

Jess said...

The new template now works with Firefox!!

Jen said...

I don't use firefox... I use Safari on a pc and a mac. what does that mean?

I can see everything now. Thanks for changing it.

tabitha jane said...

this sound like nothing short of pure mortification!!!

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