1:30-"Jonesy, please get out of the trash! No...Don't eat that." (This is where I pull an angry yelling 8 month old out of the trash can and pull his "treasure" (a piece of plastic wrapper) out of his mouth.)
1:31- "Jones, that's dirty, yuck! That goes in the toilet...here come with Mommy. Lets wash your hands and then we can change your diaper." (Here I am pulling a toilet plunger out of his hands and taking him to use super antibacterial hand soap!)
1:33-"Wow, this is a dirty diaper....NO...No, NO!(I take away the poopy diaper which he has grabbed and is now pulling all over himself) "Jones, please hold still. Mom is trying to wipe the poop off of you. JONES hold still." (I am holding my 23lb. baby by one ankle while he is Flailing around trying with all his might to flip onto his tummy and crawl away.)
1:35- (I have wipped the poop off Jones, the carpet and have just come back from washing it off my own hands.) "Ok Jones, You are all clean. Lets put on your new diaper. Wait....Stop, stop. No...don't crawl through that! Oh...mommy will be right back." (As I return Jones turns from the basket he is playing at and sprays the now clean carpet with urine. Then as he smiles and crawls towards me decides to go straight through the pee.)
8 comments:
I think this is the best post I have ever read.... EVER!
Seriously. Good times. Just wait 'til he starts potty training and then gets diahrea and while he's standing up peeing, poops all over the floor behind him and he's in your bathroom which is unfortunately carpeted... I love waste.
I concur with Mrs. Arwen. One of the best blogs ever! Had me laughing and I always enjoy a good laugh!
I am honored to be mentioned on your blog! I really wish I could honor you, and many others back. I really should figure out this blag thing... better, or whatever!
Just know I love you and I honor you too... in my heart... for right now... untill I learn how to do this publicly!
I just threw up a little
Believe it or not Jess, someday this will be a treasured memory AND something to emabarass him with. Look out Jones!
I need a blog update!!!!
And yes, I realize how hypocritical it is for me to say that.
it sounds like you live a wonderful life of luxury and class. :) i like it though, you must love poop and pee and all things gross. i think i will too, when i have a cutie baby.
That was some good birth control, thanks. That'll probably hold me for another 5-10 years.
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